Christmas with Thor
by Serenitychan13
Summary: A bit unseasonable, I know - but what's wrong with Christmas in May? He promised Maria a once-a-year visit, and now he is keeping his promise again.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **_**I assume you've all read the other two Thor fics I've written? Yes? Good! No? You may want to, or this will confuse you. Either way, it's not mine. Nothing Marvel is mine. Maria – the OC, is mine. If you wish to use her, you may ask nicely. I like it when people ask nicely! But if you belong to Marvel or Disney or whatever, don't sue me. You won't really get anything.**_

**Author's Note: _I know it's nowhere near close to Christmas. But this one's been driving me nuts, so please enjoy this Christmas fic in May! This is what happens when an insane person listens to Christmas music._  
**

Prologue

"_All I want for Christmas is… YOU…!_" Mariah's voice, mixed with another singer's, poured out of the speakers as the banged-up car slid into the parking space.

The car turned off and a young woman scrambled out of it, yanking a large black leather purse out with some ferocity. She was not dressed for hiking, noticed a park ranger. As a matter of fact, she looked quite the opposite. Her hair had been carefully swept up into a neat bun, drawing attention to the pearls around her neck. She had on light makeup, too – basic black shadow and red lipstick. A black leather jacket almost totally covered her pretty red sweater. A black circle skirt fell to her knees and white stockings made her legs look a mile long. She even had on black heels!

Looking around, the young woman pulled a white scarf out of her car, wrapped it round her neck, and started walking – she disappeared into the trees.

The ranger followed.

* * *

It was a good thing Christmas fell on a weekend this year, thought Maria. It was the only time work would let her have off… pretty much ever. Now, she stood out in the woods in a national park in her hometown. Already, she had fielded awkward questions from three different park rangers. Annoying, but she could kind of understand it. Probably not many girls turned up at this place to hang around in the middle of nowhere, all dressed up for a date. But that was still none of their damn business!

She picked her way out further into the forest, careful not to turn her heels on rocks and pine tree roots. Looking up, she watched the sky turning steely gray and pulled her leather jacket closer around her. The day had grown increasingly breezy over the last hour or two. Her nose had gone numb and cheeks felt very raw and chapped. Fishing in her large black purse, she extracted a tube of lipstick and gave herself a quick fix.

Her mom had not been crazy about the idea of her coming out here on a day like this. There had been a few hints – just enough to get every schoolchild's heart and hopes up – that it would snow soon. Now Maria felt slightly guilty. She had just made something up about going to the mall. How the hell was she going to explain this anyway! Maybe Mom would ignore the unusual circumstances – it was Christmas after all…

"Oh who am I kidding?" Maria grumbled. "Mom's going to have a fit…"

And she didn't really want to think about how her dad would react. Pacing back and forth in an attempt to keep herself warm, she started to worry. What guarantee did she have that he would show up? Sure he had come to her once before, but quite frankly that had been some special circumstances. Did that count as their 'once a year' thing? Her thoughts broke as the wind began to pick up.

All of a sudden, lightning flashed above the treetops. Shit! She really couldn't be sure if that was a good thing or just a horrible storm. The radio had said a few things about a storm front coming through. And they hadn't been sure if it would bring snow or just torrential rain. She found herself increasingly worried as a raindrop hit her cheek. Soon, she pushed up under a tree as the entire forest pattered with rain. Fuck… she thought – she had driven half an hour out here and then walked into the woods in heels for nothing!

"Where are you?" she asked, her question getting lost up in the rainy branches. Then she thought of how many times she wished she could see him this Christmas – it had been forever since she hadn't been alone on Christmas. Well, she had her family, but yeah… "You promised…"

Then she heard it – thunder, crashing far away. The clouds still flashed with lightning as the sound approached her position rapidly. Rain beat down upon everything, soaking her through to the skin. But she didn't mind – hell, she didn't _care _at this point. The clouds above her had formed a sort of whirlpool, swirling in tighter and tighter as the storm grew deathly fierce. She yelled in surprise as a small tree tore itself down about ten yards away. All of a sudden, she had to shield her eyes.

A brilliant flash of rainbow-colored light… A magnificent flash of lightning… Then a roar of thunder that could deafen a bull shook the entire forest.

And there stood the one she had waited for. Of course, _his _hair remained perfect – somehow, that had always been both endearing and annoying. She reached back and uselessly squeezed the water out of her bun. His armor shone bright as the rain stopped and a brilliant winter sunbeam hit him. The wind died down to a breeze, just enough to make her shake and sniffle. He turned around, hearing the small sound.

His smile, reaching his clear blue eyes, caused her to go a bit funny in the head. All the lectures she had given herself about being cool about this, maintaining her composure and all that, flew right out the window! Immediately, she tripped on a large pine root and pelted towards him. He opened his arms to her and her full weight smacked him in the chest. Granted, this wasn't much, considering what he had been familiar with. She was no Brunhilde, he thought, but she could certainly make her own sort of impact!

"I missed you," she whispered, her words muffled in his cape. He held her for a long moment and then finally set her down carefully. She looked up at him, happy tears mixing with the rain on her face. "Almost thought you weren't coming…"

He only smiled brighter, cradling her chin in his hand and kissing her softly.

"I did promise," he purred as he pulled away.

Though she couldn't stop smiling, something puzzled her.

"How did you know?" she asked. This time, she hadn't called out to him directly, just _wished _really hard. "I mean, I didn't think I had asked right… And I'm not in any kind of life-threatening situation."

Looking down at her, his smile turned enigmatic – okay, she had no idea he could even manage that expression!

"Of course you asked," he told her, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Then, his voice got big and booming again. "Your voice can be nothing else but a gift from the gods, if I can hear it from the palace of Asgard!"

For a moment, Maria stared at him, blushing furiously down to the roots of her hair. Then she couldn't help laughing. He made the most awesome things sound totally ridiculous when he did that whole 'I am Thor – hear me now!' thing. At his confused stare, she calmed down. Now, she felt quite aware of what a huge mess she had to look like… Immediately, she broke into a frenzy of trying to straighten herself out, fixing clothes and hair and generally fidgeting. Thor reached out and stilled her hands with his own.

"So… we should probably get going," she said a little awkwardly, half hoping he would kiss her again and half wanting to just get out of there. "The park rangers probably want to know what just happened."

Thor looked at her in confusion again – what were park rangers and why should they care what just happened? But he allowed Maria to take him by the hand and lead the way out of the clearing. She walked a bit gingerly in her heels, but she seemed to know her way along these trails. It didn't take terribly long to get back to another large clearing. This, he recognized as a parking lot, with white lines on dark pavement. There were three men in a sort of khaki uniform standing around, looking off into the forest. One of them pointed at the sky, where the whirling clouds had been.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" said one of them, raising an arm to flag down Maria and Thor. He paused for a long second before asking slowly, "Sir?"

Maria stopped, putting her arm out to indicate Thor should stay behind her – at first, he bristled, but he did as she asked.

"Is there a problem, sir?" she asked the ranger, keeping her voice deliberately higher-pitched and extremely polite. "We were just leaving."

The ranger who flagged them down stepped back.

"No problem, ma'am – just curious about what a young lady's doing out here by herself," he told her, looking her up and down openly. "Especially all dressed up and so close to Christmas."

Maria frowned, not at all okay with his tone – Thor sensed her tension and stepped forward.

"Sir, this young lady was waiting for me," he said bluntly, towering over the now-sniveling ranger. "If this is not a problem, we would like to leave now."

The ranger's hand went to his gun, but he did not touch it.

"Are you threatening me?" he asked with an edge in his voice, unsure of whether to pull his weapon or take off running. "Because you should know I am still an officer of the law…"

Maria subtly kicked Thor in the shins and broke into the conversation.

"I'm really sorry – he's… not from around here," she told the ranger, hoping he would understand. "He had a hard trip and he's a little confused. Sir, I'd like to get him home so he can just relax. Jet-lag and all…"

One of the other rangers stepped forward.

"It's fine, Dave – let 'em go," he said firmly – this guy was always a bit too 'Barney Fife' for him, always raring to go with that one bullet. He turned back to Maria and Thor. "Y'all get on home."

Maria smiled, though Thor seemed to still be in 'intimidation mode.'

"Thank you, sir," she said quickly, taking Thor's arm and steering him to the car. "Car's over here!"

Thor all of a sudden looked very ill – when had he signed up for a ride in that deathtrap again?


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **_**Still isn't mine. This idea is still on crack. Yeah, I know it's May. Don't sue me cos you can't have my soda.**_

Chapter 1

Somehow, Thor had managed to block the terrible car trip out of his mind – he had the memory of the first time and that was damn well enough! Now, clinging to whatever in the car he could get his hands around, he felt it slow down. Blinking, he shook his head once to clear the massive feeling of nausea as Maria turned the vehicle and drove up a steep cement incline. She leaned out the window and shouted at a large black-and-white cat to get out of the way. Then she parked the car halfway in the grass.

"Well, let's see how bad my mom freaks out about this," she said to him, only half-laughing. Thor felt it best to keep his mouth shut, merely nodding. "Well, come on in!"

And, once more feeling as though he had been stuffed in a box, Thor unfolded himself and nearly fell out of the car. Every time he found himself getting out of a mortal's vehicle, he felt the deep desire never, ever to get back in. Maria hopped out of the car easily after yanking the e-brake. Thankfully, she had remembered to wear waterproof eye makeup today. No quick-fixes needed. Thor looked apprehensive, particularly at the sound of three dogs going nuts on the other side of the door he saw. But Maria held out her hand and he took it, letting her precede him to the door.

"Hey Mom!" she bellowed at the tops of her lungs the second she stepped into the house. Immediately the two of them were swarmed by dogs. "Mom, where are you! I've got somebody I'd like you to meet!"

The dogs jumped all over both Maria and Thor, with Maria trying her best to make them get down and behave themselves. The smallest – a very fat, incredibly old Beagle – had taken to making a terrible noise. Thor shook his head, feeling his ears begin to ring. The other two were significantly larger – one golden yellow with a big blocky head, the other black and fluffy. Maria stepped over the small one and pulled Thor with her.

"MOM!" she hollered again, this time louder than the dog. "MOM, CAN YOU COME DOWN HERE!"

A woman's voice yelled back down the stairs, "Be there in just a second!" Thor blinked – mortals just got stranger and stranger. Come to that, this was the first time he had been inside a mortal home in probably three centuries. He looked around at everything inside the house. The interior looked warm, a bit ratty, and quite inviting. Several fur-bunnies the size of a grown man's fist rested in every corner, evidence of the dogs being in the house full-time. Random objects the god could not identify sat on every surface.

In the corner of the adjoining room, featuring two sand-colored couches and a broken-looking burgundy armchair, stood a large tree. It was covered in small objects and wound all about with colored lights on a string. Thor tilted his head, particularly puzzled by this thing. Why would there be a tree inside a mortal home? Nowhere had he seen trees inside a building of Midgard before.

"Are there normally trees growing inside mortal homes?" he asked Maria, who was down on her knees, playing happily with the yellow dog. "I have never encountered this before."

Maria looked up at him, squealing as the block-headed dog very solidly licked the side of her face.

"Trees… huh? Oh, the Christmas tree!" she exclaimed. Then she tilted her head at him. "Have you never seen a Christmas tree?"

Thor shook his head, going over to a piece of furniture that had a glass front on its top half. Behind the glass were an assortment of porcelain dishes and a collection of figurines shaped like mice and rabbits. Maria followed him, explaining that her father had brought her the figurines from a trip. Then she lifted the top off of an unusually-shaped container. The top half featured a dog asleep on his back atop a red, snow-covered dog house. From inside the container, she withdrew a strange object.

"Want a Christmas tree cake?" she asked him, dangling the thing from one corner between two fingers. It seemed to be encased in a sort of clear film. "I've loved these things since I was a kid!"

The god took the strange object from Maria's hand. What was he supposed to do with it? But he watched her split the film cover on another one, taking a large bite out of the top point of the little white thing inside. Very carefully, Thor tore the film open. The white object inside seemed to be some sort of cake, which he sniffed before biting into. Maria looked at him like she wondered about his sanity.

"Okay, Maria, what is it?" A lady with graying hair and a rather beaky nose poked her head round the half of the staircase visible from the kitchen. If she was at all surprised at Thor's appearance, she at least pretended not to notice. "So, who's your friend?"

Maria gulped hard, looking from Thor's face to her mom's. Thor still had his mouth stuffed full of Christmas-tree cake, flecks of white frosting in his beard. Her mom seemed mostly amused by the whole thing, coming down the stairs. The dogs snuffled around the kitchen, the large black one picking up a bone. He crunched it noisily. Maria all of a sudden felt very much like she was in high school again – not that she ever brought home a guy in high school.

"Uh… Mom… This is… um…" She stuttered blankly – all of a sudden growing the mouth-filter she had lacked her entire life. "Uh…"

Thor chomped down the rest of the Christmas-tree cake and swallowed it after a few chews. He looked very confused. Maria's mom approached him and looked him up and down. But she put her hand out.

"I'm Maria's mom, Kaye," she told him. "Has Maria offered you a Co-cola yet?"

Thor bent and kissed this strange woman's hand, causing her to look at him with a very familiar eye – one that looked like it wanted to hit him very hard.

"Oh my god… Mom, I am so sorry!" Maria spluttered, her face going very pale. "He's… not from around here – he's… European…"

Then Thor drew himself up, clapping a broad hand on Maria's shoulder.

"I am Thor, prince of Asgard and god of thunder," he boomed, rattling most of the decorative articles in the house. A bell tinkled merrily from somewhere in the foyer. "I am honored to be invited to your home!"

Maria's mom blinked – okay, this had to be another one of Maria's… more unconventional friends. The one who sang Disney songs and occasionally pretended he had a tail was already a hoot and a half! Heck, maybe this guy knew the Disney guy – didn't he make armor like that? Was that seriously armor? And why was he wearing leather pants? Okay – it was almost Christmas and she shook herself. Hadn't she learned years ago to just quit asking?

"Hugh? Don't you want to meet Maria's new friend?" she yelled up the stairs.

There came a pounding sound from upstairs.

"Be right down!" a voice almost as deep as Thor's called back. "Are they staying for dinner?"

Maria's mom looked at her.

"Well, actually, Mom…" Maria started carefully, trying to tell as much of the truth as humanly possible. "He really doesn't have anywhere to be this Christmas – he's from… Norway and couldn't get home. I… didn't want him to be alone."

Mrs. Barsi could smell bullshit a mile away, but she decided she probably didn't _want _the real story.

"Yes! He'll be here with us for the Christmas weekend!" she yelled upstairs. Then she looked back at Thor. "So, what does your family usually do for Christmas?"

Thor looked confused again, even more so when Maria tried very casually to stand on his boot.

"Christmas… I am fascinated by this 'Christmas' of yours!" he proclaimed, as if it had come as some sort of great discovery.

Maria gave up on subtlety and tried steering the conversation.

"You know? That great big celebration in winter?" she said very pointedly.

Thor looked at her for a moment as if she had lost her mind, looked over at the haphazardly decorated tree, and realization visibly dawned on him.

"Oh! _Yule!_" he all of a sudden bellowed with great enthusiasm. "For us, the norm is branches of evergreen – you seem to have brought in an entire tree! Your people must be very strong!"

Maria's mom stared at him again.

"Well, what kind of ornaments do you put up?" she asked, making another brave stab at conversation.

Thor now seemed to have some grasp on the conversation.

"The halls are lit with brightest candles and red cloth is hung from every door and wall to welcome Julebukk to the celebration!" He smiled in fondness, remembering the children of the mortal families he once visited. Upon seeing Maria and her mom's confused expressions, he explained, "The Yule stag – he is said to bring gifts to the children."

Maria smiled – she had never heard him speak this much about where he was from, other than the requisite proclamations of being from Asgard. She wasn't quite sure how gods grew up… But she could certainly remember her own Christmases! Was the Julebukk possibly where the concept of Santa's reindeer had come from? Surely he had seen so many Yuletide traditions come and go…

"And once the children are put to bed, the celebrations go well into the night," he continued, looking out the kitchen window at the darkening outdoors. "With the drinking of mead, playing of music and dancing to continue… always until none remained standing…"

And Maria beamed.

"Hey Mom, sounds like my kinda party!" she giggled. Then she put her hand on Thor's arm, trying to steer everyone into the living room. "Anybody else tired of standing up in here? Let's go sit!"

The two of them followed her in. Thor found himself greeted by the familiar smell of thick pine resin. Maria let herself fall onto the sand-colored couch closest to the tree. Beneath the tree, he saw a small cabin-like object constructed of rough sticks all nailed together. Immediately outside this small structure lay an arrangement of strange figures. Inside, a small cat slept under a golden beam of light from a tiny bulb.

"Mom, look – she's thrown out the manger scene again!" Maria pointed at the cat. The creature turned on its back, ignoring the commotion.

"That's why you never see cats in the Nativity," her mom commented.

Thor did not recognize the figures or these words.

"What practice is this?" he inquired, pointing at the small stick-box. "Never have I encountered the tradition of a cat sleeping in a wooden box!"

Maria's mom looked at Thor as if he had said something truly insane – or was he trying to be funny?

"His family still practices the really old Norwegian traditions," Maria broke in with another phony explanation. "Like the ones in Roald Dahl's books!"

Her mom nodded, seeming to buy this.

"Okay, somebody introduce me!" called the same deep voice from above. "And then I'll get dinner goin'!"

A larger fellow, nowhere near Thor's size, but thickly built and wearing a Polo T-shirt with his khakis, descended the stairs. His salt-and-pepper hair lay thick on his head and he wore a bright gold wedding band. He looked happy, but his eyes held volumes of suspicion for the strange man in his living room. Thor stood beside a faded wooden washstand, looking at the cat in the manger.

"Did she toss out the wise men?" he asked. "Or is it all of 'em this time?"

Maria jumped up, smiling.

"It's the whole set!" she squealed excitedly – for a woman of twenty-five years, she reverted quickly to the warmth of childhood. "But Dad, this is Thor – he's from Norway and I brought him home for Christmas!"

Her dad still looked happy, but he looked very much like Thor had better mind his P's and Q's. The god strode across the room and clasped the other man's hand, clapping him firmly on the shoulder a few good times.

"I am honored by your gracious welcome, sir!" he rumbled, again rattling most of the decorations. "In truth, I have never experienced a Yuletide season quite like this before!"

Mr. Barsi didn't look thrilled with this overall, but he at least grunted before heading into the kitchen.

"Maria, why don't you put a record on?" he suggested to change the subject.

She hurried over to the washstand and bent down to rifle through a basket beside it. From this basket, she withdrew a large red square… thing. On the front of it, a picture of a young man with black hair and a suntanned face. She pulled a black disk from between two halves of the square. This, she set carefully on top of the device sitting on the washstand. After she turned a few knobs, cursed quietly, and adjusted a long arm-like thing, music started to play.

Thor stood spellbound as Maria began to sing along with Elvis Presley's "O Little Town of Bethlehem." He did not understand the words – they were as foreign to him as anything in this world. But Maria's bright, clear voice seemed to fill the entire house. Her mom smiled and got up to help her dad in the kitchen. It was a soft, very simple song, but to Thor, it could have easily been the call of a siren. Maria seemed to become a different person when she sang; her eyes alight with something not of this world.

"Has she always sung like this?" Thor quietly asked Maria's mom, who nodded and affirmed proudly. He processed this for a moment, before declaring, surprisingly softly, "She has certainly been blessed with a gift."

Maria, coming to the end of the song, noticed the two of them watching her and quickly clammed up. Her face turned red and she started edging towards the staircase. Thor raised an eyebrow and her mom continued on into the kitchen. Next second, Maria had her hand on the end of the stair rail.

"If nobody minds, I'm gonna go change," she announced, her voice sounding very thin and strained. "I'm still soaked."

Her mom gave her the go-ahead and Maria tripped up the stairs. Thor looked about. He found himself with a growing appreciation for the tradition of bringing the whole tree inside. The cat in the stick-cabin had awakened and looked up at him. Two of the dogs started to fuss over a red rubber toy on the floor. The god felt the beginnings of what he barely recognized as a sinking feeling. No man, mortal or god, wanted to find himself in this situation… ever.

With Maria upstairs, he realized that he had been left alone with her parents.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **_**If you really think I think that this whole thing is mine, you have problems, for real. I have a lot of things – a dog with gas, a television remote that doesn't work, and a lot of brain issues… but Marvel isn't one of them. Maria, on the other hand, is mine. So if you wish to use her, please ask nicely. I usually say yes when asked nicely. Also, I know it's summer. Don't flame.**_

Chapter 2

Very few things could even come close to unnerving the God of Thunder. Ice giants made him laugh. His lunatic brother made him shake his head. Being alone with Maria's parents… That came close. The mother looked at him as if he was some sort of curiosity. She seemed all right. But the father… He had something else going on. Thor had angered Odin more than once and somehow that seemed less off-putting at the moment.

"This is a home like I have never seen before!" he declared by way of compliment.

Maria's mother smiled and nodded – she seemed to be studying him. The father did not turn away from the stove, but a sizzling sound answered for him. Thor could smell beef cooking on the stove. He took a few wide steps round the living room, and then approached the tree. Well did he remember the scent of thick pine forests! The gods decorated the palace of Asgard in a way no world could compare… Furs and red candles, evergreen boughs and gold fixings coated every available surface, with music playing from all sides.

Thor got a little closer. The small cat in the little stick-box got up, looking disgusted, and stalked away across the living room – he had disturbed her. Leaning in, he saw ornaments like nothing in Asgard. A few of them were small frames containing images. Yes, he had seen… what did they call them? Photographs! Indeed. He'd seen those before. Two were of dogs – he recognized them from the chaos in the kitchen – with a large man in a red suit. But a great many more were of a mortal child at varying ages.

"You said that normally you don't put up Christmas trees where you're from?" Maria's mother's voice broke into his observation. The deep, flowing baritone voice still sang from the record player. "Hugh and Maria finally outvoted me on the colored lights this year."

Thor tilted his head.

"There are other kinds?" he asked, continuing to study the tree.

Mrs. Barsi nodded.

"I like the white ones," she told him.

All of a sudden, a clunking sound came down the stairs.

"Yeah, Mom, and we're supposed to switch off every year," called Maria's voice. The large yellow dog ran to see her. "But you had your white lights two years in a row, so Dad and I get our colored lights again next year."

Her mom fired back with "yeah, yeah" and stepped back so Maria could join them by the tree.

"See anything interesting?" Maria asked Thor.

He looked down at her, having almost forgotten that she was truly tiny when she stood beside him. She had changed into a long-sleeved white T-shirt and a green skirt that hit a little above her knees, her legs in black tights. The pearls remained around her neck and she had fixe her lipstick. This time, she had left the heels off. He thought about kissing her in greeting, but he heard a loud cough and thought better of it.

"The decorations where I come from are much different from this," he again proclaimed to the room at large. "I have never seen such tiny… photographs."

Maria smiled, but then she blushed hard, seeing which one he had started to look at.

"The reindeer are my favorites, but they haven't gone on the tree since I was, like, four," she told him, steering him over to a small table. On it sat a large circular mirror and eight miniature sculptures. Each featured a small deer wearing strange clothing. "They're all playing different sports and I'm the only one in the family who can make them stand up. If we put 'em on the tree, they always get knocked off and the antlers break."

He picked up the one that wore a jacket and little white ice skates. The jacket said "Dancer" on the back. The detail on the sculpture was endearingly exquisite. Maria looked very anxious all of a sudden and he realized he must be holding something very precious to her. With as much care as he had ever taken with an object, he handed the little deer back to her. She beamed and lovingly repositioned her between the runner and the basketball player.

Maria's mom had gone back into the kitchen and had started off with setting a pot of water with egg noodles in it on the stove. The father, satisfied with the condition of the beef, began work on a cream sauce that filled the whole house with the smell of sizzling onions and earthy mushrooms. Maria stepped back to make sure all her reindeer were in their right places. Satisfied, she grabbed Thor's arm and made a dash for the kitchen.

Opening a drawer, she picked out a fork, crossed the kitchen, then leaned round her dad and snitched a piece of beef. Thor stood rather awkwardly to the side, trying very hard to avoid being too near the china cabinet. Maria's mom had the oven door open, putting in a dish he had never seen before. Next moment something else smelled fantastic. This mortal home felt very much like just that… a home.

"You hungry?" asked Maria's father, not bothering to hide the hostility in his voice.

Thor tried his best to smile winningly.

"Sir, I would be honored to eat here!" he all but bellowed.

"Do you have to talk like that?" demanded the father. "This ain't the Ren Fest or whatever."

"Hugh!" snapped the mother.

"Dad!" yelled Maria.

The father looked slightly embarrassed, and at his wife and daughter's expressions, he grunted an apology. Thor nodded, accepting the apology in good spirits. He felt a cold… something against his hand and looked down to see the large black dog giving him the canine equivalent of a smile. So he scratched the creature behind one fuzzy ear. It licked his hand and trotted away. The smaller one – the loud one – just gave him the same look as the cat had done and scuttled away to hide under a table.

With her mother shooing her out, Maria crossed the kitchen, passed by the china cabinet, and headed back to the living room. She plopped down on the floor and started sifting through the basket of records again. Thor felt much more comfortable just standing back and observing this mortal family. Watching Maria, he saw her smile as she picked up another of those… records. She rose rather gracefully from the floor and picked up the black circle already there. After putting it back in the cardboard sleeve, she set on the new record and another baritone voice filled the room.

"Sorry Mom!" she yelled into the kitchen. "I love Dean Martin!"

Thor's brow furrowed.

"Dean Martin?" he asked, making sure to control his tone so as not to anger the father. "Who is this… Dean Martin?"

Maria laughed, pointing at the record player. Oh! Thor realized she had been talking about the voice coming from the black circle. She started to sway back and forth to an upbeat sound. The voice began to sing about frightful weather, a delightful fire, and the hope for snow. Maria's face had gone pink and she practically glowed with happiness. Taking a quick look over his shoulder – the father was occupied with something on the stove – Thor extended his hand.

"Shall we dance?" he asked with just enough command in his voice.

And Maria took his hand eagerly, allowing him to pull her in close.

"You two let some light show through there!" Maria's dad yelled without turning around.

"Dad, I'm not in middle school!" Maria yelled back, unfortunately letting her voice explode in Thor's ear.

Thor reeled back a little bit – apparently the primary method of communication in this home consisted of shouting back and forth through the house. The father grumped, but backed down at his wife rolling her eyes. So Maria had to half-lead Thor through a rather messy foxtrot. But he caught on fast, so pretty soon, she found herself having to dodge dogs and the coffee table. The next track on the record featured a duet, this 'Dean Martin' man and an unknown woman.

_I really can't stay… _sang the woman.

_But, baby, it's cold outside…_ the Dean Martin man answered.

Maria had apparently danced like this many times before. She moved easily and had natural grace. Thor, of course, had danced before, but not like this. He could barely feel her there in his arms. She sang along softly with the female's part of the song. It didn't last for very long and Thor found himself thinking on something odd. None of these 'Christmas' songs had anything to do with a decent round of drinking!

"I really want it to snow for Christmas," Maria told him softly, breaking into his reverie when the song ended. "But it's Georgia, so it never does."

Thor smiled at her, mentally making a note to see what he could do. The entire house smelled like _food_ and he found his thoughts drifting back to the kitchen. He and Maria turned that way, watching her mom take the dish out of the oven while her dad mixed the cream sauce with the egg noodles and beef. Maria dashed past the god into the kitchen, skidding in her stocking-feet. Seeing her run, all three dogs followed in excitement.

"Dad, is that beef stroganoff?" she asked over her shoulder, bending down and opening a large container of dog food. The father grunted an affirmation. "Hey, Thor… can you hand me those bowls down there?"

Truly, an incredible mortal woman – to ask a favor so easily of a god! Perhaps this drew him to her. He bent down and picked up the three aluminum bowls off the floor. Immediately, three dogs danced round his legs. Well, the two big ones kept moving. The small loud one sat on the floor and began to howl at him. Such a horrible noise he had never even heard Fenrir the Great Wolf make! Maria had to shout to make herself heard over the noise.

"Okay! Okay! All three of you, calm down!" she groused, taking the bowls from Thor and lining them up on the counter. "You get it in just a second!"

With a purple plastic scoop, she dished up the appropriate amount for each dog. The first one, for the yellow dog, she walked into the adjoining room – it seemed to be a nicer dining room than the adjoining one. On one side of the peninsula counter was the kitchen, the other being a breakfast area. She set the first bowl down and gave the yellow dog a word of praise. The small one had not stopped that infernal howling, so she got the next bowl. Finally, Maria set the last bowl down in front of the large black dog.

"So, Mom – kitchen or dining room?" she asked, straightening up after shutting the dog food container. "I know the table cloth's not on there, but it's not Christmas yet, so it kinda doesn't matter."

The lady of the house considered this for a moment.

"The dogs might give us some more peace if we eat in the dining room," she agreed, heading that way with the steaming dish and pot-holders. "Hugh? Bring the stroganoff in here, please!"

Maria opened a drawer in the peninsula counter and started pulling out silverware.

"Can I get some help here?" she called out to the kitchen occupants.

"Hands are full," grunted her dad, going by with the dish of beef stroganoff.

"I'm making salad in a sec," her mom answered, head in the refrigerator. "Do you want one?"

Thor stepped forward, avoiding the large black dog, and offered to help carry silverware – Maria thanked him.

"No thanks!" she told her mom, heading into the dining room with her hands full of forks. Thor followed with the knives and spoons. "But could you grab me a Co-cola out of the outside 'fridge?"

Her mom said yes, but in a second. So Maria continued on into the dining room and started setting forks by each place at the table. Thor did the same thing, watching her and placing a knife and spoon each as well. The small cat took it upon herself to hop up on the table and inspect their work. She settled towards the head of the table, watching the dogs carefully. Maria went back into the kitchen and excused herself past her dad. Reaching up, she grabbed a stack of plates, nearly tripping over the yellow dog on her way back.

"Everybody hit the table!" Maria's dad bellowed unnecessarily.

Maria and her mom both rolled their eyes and proceeded into the dining room. Thor followed somewhat awkwardly. The chair Maria guided him to let out a mighty squeak under his weight. Both her parents stared for a moment. But when Maria sat down, quickly joined by the yellow dog, they stopped. The fluffy black dog settled down under the father's chair, drooling. Next second the small loud one joined them, tucking up under the sideboard table. The cat, beside the mother's plate, stared daggers at everyone.

"So… _Thor_," her dad addressed the god, still not losing the note of hostility. "You want to say grace for us?"

The god stared at the mortal man without the foggiest idea of what he had just been asked to do.

"_Dad!" _griped Maria, glaring down the table at him. "His family doesn't do that!"

Her dad looked as though he wanted to say something angry, but her mom cut in before he could.

"That's perfectly okay," she said before the situation could heat up. "So why don't you say it, sweetie?"

Maria rolled her eyes at the ceiling and sighed irritably.

"Mom, you _know_ I haven't been to church since I graduated high school." It sounded very much like this was a recurring argument. "But okay, I'll humor you."

And, very quickly, she said a short and simple little prayer that sounded like she'd had it memorized for many years. The parents both nodded their heads and picked up their knives and forks. Thor took this as his cue to tuck in, eating with the same vigor as he usually did. Maria stared for a moment, watching him inhale just about half his plate. She nudged him with her foot under the table and raised an eyebrow at him. He swallowed his immense mouthful of green bean casserole hard, getting the message and slowing down some.

"So, who has a Christmas memory to share?" Maria's mom broke the silence of everyone eating. "Thor, you're our guest, so why don't you go first?"

Maria tried to be nonchalant about choking very suddenly on her noodles. How the hell was he going to respond to that! _Please _let him have the sense not to tell the real story to her parents! Oh hell, she had _not _thought this through at all, she realized…


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **_**Nope, still not mine. And no, it's still not Christmas. Also, not sure how lemony this story may or may not get. How about y'all weigh in for me?**_

Chapter 3

While Maria prayed to several different gods, not including the one sitting to her right, Thor chewed his green bean casserole with intense contemplation. Subtlety might have been one of those things that did not normally cross his mind, but something had occurred to him. Maria seemed to be in some sort of distress, an egg noodle dangling helplessly from her lips. He had just been about to share a memory of an Asgardian Yule. There had been a spectacular fight in the hall of heroes that had lasted three full days! Swallowing his mouthful, he opened his mouth to tell that story. But Maria kicked him hard in the shin.

Ah! He thought – obviously, she was trying to tell him something! He turned to her with a rather bemused smile. Maria did a funny sort of little nod, raising her eyebrows as if urging him to say something. Her mother stared between the two of them, knowing that something was definitely going on. The father didn't look in the mood to hear much of anything Thor might say. But, with a hint of realization dawning on him, the god opened his mouth.

"Back where I come from," he started, pausing to look at Maria for another hint. "It snows for many months – for some of that time, the sun does not rise."

Maria looked relieved, but not for terribly long – she had to sit through the entirety of one Christmas… Yule… memory without this situation exploding.

"And the Yuletide celebration I shall never forget is one that occurred when I was very young," continued the god. "The sun had not risen over my home for a solid month, so the bonfires all burned twenty feet high."

She watched him carefully, wincing as he swung an arm out and narrowly missed a stack of Christmas dishes on the sideboard table behind him.

"It was the first year that my brother and I were granted the honor of sitting at Father's side at the high table," Thor went on, his eyes softening as he stared out the dining room window. He could swear he saw his home, white with snow and glowing in the light of bonfires. "Everyone joined in the singing. My brother and I, young that we were, rather decided to get into some… mischief."

Maria had gone rather pale – oh shit, she thought! What the hell had they gotten into and what was he about to tell her parents! Her mom already looked amused. Okay, she could almost, _almost _guarantee that her mom had either seen or heard worst… she hoped. Her dad, on the other hand, looked rather forbidding.

"And when everyone got up to join the dance, we found ourselves left alone with a barrel of mead – some of the finest ever made!" continued the god, his eyes twinkling with remembrance and mischief. "And upon discovery that we remained out of the eye of our mother… Well, first we decided merely to discover the taste. I fear that, under the influence of my brother, I may have overindulged…"

Okay, so this wasn't as bad as she had feared, thought Maria.

"So what happened?" she asked, hearing him pause in the story.

Thor turned to her with the barest hint of a grin playing on his lips.

"Well, some of the details have faded with time, but I do remember singing along with the bawdiest of carols!" he told her, his voice laced with his usual booming laugh. "Were my mother not possessed of the mightiest constitution, I suspect she would have fainted!"

Maria laughed in spite of herself, checking subtly to make sure her mom was laughing too… and thankfully, she was! However, her mom didn't stay laughing for very long. For her part, Maria had found the story quite funny. She could almost _see _the young Thor – didn't know what his brother looked like. But considering some of her own childhood shenanigans, she could see it. Thor beamed round the table at everyone and tore into his dinner roll. Her dad, though, did not look amused.

"Well, I think one of my favorite Christmas memories is the year we got you that Playmobil dollhouse!" Maria's mom tried to change the subject very quickly. She turned to Maria. "Do you remember? You woke up? It took some quick thinking to get you back to bed!"

And of course, Maria turned as brilliantly red as the cape Thor had not removed from his shoulders. She continued to pick at her beef stroganoff, switching after a moment to the green bean casserole. It was one thing to _choose _to share a childhood memory, but _really Mom?_ Did you ever think your out-of-the-house daughter might not want that revisited when she's brought a guy home? So she just kept eating silently.

"Maria, why don't you tell us one?" prodded her dad.

She shook her head.

"How about you share one, Dad?" she fired back, trying to remain good-natured. "You never talk during Christmas."

He rolled his eyes, said nothing, and continued eating. The large black dog under his chair sat up and scratched, but then plopped back down. Thor smiled round the table again, his face a bit stuffed with beef stroganoff. He turned to Maria, swallowed his mouthful, and looked at her rather expectantly. Her mother had not shared _much_ of a memory. And he did have to admit that he found these mortal Christmas celebrations interesting!

"Well, what I remember is all of us – your grandma and grandpa, your aunt and uncle, and me – getting up on Christmas morning to go to church," the father stated rather shortly. "Maria, I've told you this one every year!"

Before Maria could say something snappish, the mother cut in.

"At least you shared something," she said, as if that settled the matter. For a moment, it seemed the three of them were going to sit and glare. "Maria, your dad's right – why don't you share one?"

And Maria looked very much like she wanted to bury herself in the remains of her green bean casserole. Before she could say anything, there was an explosion of sound from the small fat dog. The three dogs thundered from the room to bark at the back door for no discernible reason. Thor gave no sign that this fazed him, especially since the family seemed not to find it unusual. He looked over at Maria again, whose face had gone totally red.

"Whatever it is, it cannot be worse than some of the things my brother has done round the Yuletide celebrations," he told her by way of reassurance.

The father rounded on him.

"Your brother sounds like he's no good," he groused, staring daggers at Thor as if he'd invited this person to church on Sunday.

But Thor waved this away with a fond smile.

"My brother has a heart for mischief, but it is a good heart nonetheless," he proclaimed, lifting the Coca-Cola in front of him to the ceiling. "And it is my wish that he fares well this Yuletide season!"

Maria had to laugh – he still hadn't gotten the concept of an 'inside voice.'

"Dad, it couldn't be any worse than that time Jareth and his friends had that Christmas bonfire," she tried to put in reasonably – it made her sound just a little bit psychotic, but Thor couldn't help finding it endearing. "Mom, you remember - the one where he caught his pants on fire and melted his shoelaces?"

Thor couldn't help staring at her, having been under the impression that mortals generally tried to avoid being on fire.

"You have interesting friends," said Maria's mom, not pressing the issue _or _encouraging Maria to tell the rest of that story. "Now come on, you have to share a favorite Christmas memory."

Maria finally couldn't escape from the spotlight – her face had turned a burning shade of red that she could not hide behind a can of Peach Crush. For a moment, her mouth just snapped open and closed, like a water-starved fish. Then she made a soft growling noise, frustrated and completely adorable. Thor couldn't help grinning again. Finally, he girl opened her mouth and a squeaking sound came out.

"Okay, fine," she grated out. "Well… you're gonna have to let me think for a second here."

The mom looked very amused as she said, "take your time."

Still very red, Maria glared at her mom.

"Um… I know one of my favorites was the 'call of God' at the Christmas Eve Mass," she finally said, trying very hard not to smile and failing. "Mom, I _know _you remember that!"

Thor all of a sudden looked very confused, almost angry!

"I recall pretending not to know you," the mom fired back amiably. "I still maintain, we do not clap in church."

Maria rolled her eyes.

"_We _don't, but _I _do!" she insisted.

Thor interrupted.

"You heard the call of the gods at this… Mass?" he demanded, clutching the can of Coke in his hand – it crackled dangerously. "Tell me what happened!"

Both parents raised eyebrows at him.

"Relax, Thor," insisted Maria. "It was Christmas Eve and Mom and I went to Mass. It was storming really badly. Well, Father Dan's in the middle of the Gospel, and when he gets to that part about 'and the angel of the Lord said unto them…" _BLAM! _Thunder crashes so hard it shakes the whole downtown area!"

She sat back to make sure the story had sunk in with due incredulity – her mom shook her head.

"So Father Dan gets the giggles – he's got no clue what to do!" Maria continued, starting to laugh at her own story. "So I looked back at my friend Matt – he's sitting like three rows behind us next to this big Hispanic family. And I start clapping! And since we've got eye contact, he starts it too! And before anybody knows it, the whole church is just _applauding!_ It was fantastic!"

Her mom rolled her eyes and looked at her.

"I still think Father Cuddy's response was better," she said mildly. "Nice, understated."

Maria nodded, still smiling until it looked like her cheeks hurt.

"Yeah, saying 'Well, I really don't know how to follow that,' the way he did…" she reminisced. "Sounded almost like Yoda. I _swear_ that guy is the closest thing to Yoda as we're ever going to see!"

And she and her mom laughed together. Thor, still looking grumpy and confused, looked at both of them, but couldn't help smiling. It sounded vaguely familiar to him. And if she had thought it to be a call from the gods… perhaps it had been. He did have vague recollections of causing a spectacular storm right round when the mortals had been celebrating their Yuletide season. It had been amazing. Like what mortal people called 'fireworks.'

Dinner went on after that with all the sounds of a good meal – the silence of people eating, silverware being picked up and put down… The record player spun on in the other room. Elvis Presley's "Blue Christmas" reached everyone's ears and Maria hummed along with it through a mouthful of noodles. Thor had just about cleaned his plate, as had Maria's dad. Maria's mom seemed to be in the habit of playing with her food. She would just pick it with knife and fork until each bite was perfect. Only then would she actually eat it. If they were planning on waiting for her to finish, they'd be there all night!

Maria cleaned her plate as well and got up to take her things into the kitchen. Ever the gentleman, Thor stood as well. Taking his cues from her, he picked up his plate and followed her from the room. The large black dog got up from under the dad's chair, trailing after the two of them. Perhaps _this time _something would hit the floor. Smiling, Maria showed Thor what to do with the dishes in the sink, rinsing them off and then setting them in the dishwasher. Her mom yelled a thank-you from the dining room.

Then Maria went on into the living room and fell back on one of the tan leather love seats. She hit with such force that the reclining bit engaged and she stretched out happily. Thor, trying not to break the furniture, sat beside her a bit more carefully. She smiled at him, a different kind of smile than he had ever seen from her before. Gently, he took her hand. She looked nervous, but not the kind of nervous he was familiar with.

"Careful… Mom and Dad are still here," she whispered, a pretty light in her eyes. "I don't want to get in trouble."

She felt like she was in middle school – but then again, nothing like this had ever happened to her in middle school. Thor leaned close, his other hand stroking her face. Their lips touched. Maria felt a new spark like she had never felt before, not even with him. The whole 'we might get in trouble' thing seemed to really get to her… But then-

"Maria, come help your mother clean up!" yelled her dad's voice from the other room. He paused, presumably while his wife said something angry. "Please!"

Immediately, Maria pushed back away from Thor so hard and fast that she managed to topple herself off the couch. Flailing and cursing, she felt Thor's hand on the back of her neck, pulling her upright. She blushed and got up off the floor, scooting on into the kitchen. Thor, unsure really of what to do with himself in this situation, got up and followed. Maria stood beside the sink with a towel in her hand, drying large pots and pans after her mom washed them.

"So, Mom, what needs to be done in the guest room?" Maria asked, drying a metal colander. "Just the usual change the sheets or anything else?"

Her mom thought for a second.

"Hmm… I think just changing the sheets," she said. "The blue flannel ones are in the linen closet – washed 'em last week. If there's anything else, I'm sure you'll see it before I do. Why don't you go check that out?"

Maria nodded and set the towel and colander down. Smiling at Thor, she headed back through the kitchen and up the stairs. She pulled open the linen closet and pulled out the blue flannel sheets. Heading into the guest room, she didn't see anything but the sheets that needed taking care of. And she could do that in approximately twenty seconds. It didn't look like a hotel-room setup or anything, but it looked all right. So she headed back downstairs, of course to find Thor waiting for her.

"You two look up!" Maria's mom called – immediately Maria noticed the camera.

The two looked up to see an extremely old ball of plastic mistletoe with a brass bell hanging off it.

"You know what that means," Maria laughed.


End file.
